The Fun at Work Café

How to Kill Workplace Boredom Without a Gun

www.fun-at-work.org

 

Business Manners from Heaven

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Workplace and Office Etiqutte 

on The Fun at Work Café

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
— Tony Brown

Be kind and considerate to others, depending somewhat upon who they are.
— Don Herold

No man who is in a hurry is quite civilized.
— Will Durant

Never wear anything that panics the cat.
— P. J. O'Rourke

Never complain about your troubles; they are responsible for more than half of your income.
— Robert Updegraff

Little things affect little minds.
— Benjamin Disraeli

Also ensure that you read The Joy of Not Working in full view of your boss and your co-workers!
— Barack Obama 
 

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Whoever is in a hurry, shows that the thing he is about is too big for him.
— Lord Chesterfield

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
— Mark Twain

If at first you do succeed — try to hide your astonishment.
— Harry F. Banks

Always do one thing less than you think you can do.
— Bernard Baruch

You can never be too paranoid.
— Unknown wise person

The man with insight enough to admit his limitations comes nearest to perfection.
— Johanne von Goethe

It is vain to do with more what can be done with less.
— William of Occam

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
— Mark Twain

Never put off until tomorrow what you can get some sucker to do today.
— Workplace graffiti

When policy fails, try thinking.
— Unknown wise person

When you see a snake, never mind where he came from.
— W. G. Benham

Don't interfere with something that ain't bothering you.
— Unknown wise person

But think how early I go.
— Lord Castlerosse, when criticized for continually arriving late for work

If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it.
— W. C. Fields

What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.
— Ambrose Bierce

It is not worth while to go round the world to count the cats in Zanzibar.
— Henry David Thoreau

If you can't keep up, drag them down to your level.
— Laurence J. Peter

If a project is going wrong, always blame one of your colleagues — but not an intelligent one.
— Joep Schrijvers, (Dutch management consultant)

Some folks can look so busy doing nothin' that they seem indispensable.
— Kin Hubbard

Don't waste time learning the "tricks of the trade." Instead learn the trade.
— H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

When action grows unprofitable, gather information; when information grows unprofitable, sleep.
— Ursula K. Le Guin

Always take an emergency leisurely.
— Chinese proverb

Never let your boss know that you exist.
— Workplace graffiti

Take your secretary to lunch. He'll appreciate it.
— Unknown wise person

When the going gets tough, the smart get lost.
— Robert Byrne

A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.
— C. E. Ayres

If you see a snake, just kill it — don't appoint a committee on snakes.
— H. Ross Perot

A committee should consist of three men, two of whom are absent.
— Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.
— Tom Lehrer

Have no sympathy for people who claim to be "victims" at work. "They aren't victims, but losers.
— Joep Schrijvers, (Dutch management consultant)

No one ever listened himself out of a job.
— Calvin Coolidge

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
— Mark Twain

I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs.
— Samuel Goldwyn (1882-1974)

It's not what you say but the way you say it.
— French proverb

Don't ever make the same mistake twice — unless it pays.
— Mae West

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
— Robert Benchley

Always mistrust a subordinate who never finds fault with his superior.
— John Churton Collins

If you have something of importance to say, for God's sake start at the end.
— Sarah Jeannette Duncan

Use your brain. It's the little things that count.
— Workplace graffiti

Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
— Ambrose Bierce

If you have any problems at all, don't hesitate to shut up.
— Robert Mankoff

A civil servant doesn't make jokes.
— Eugène Ionesco

Live your life, do your work, then take your hat.
— Henry David Thoreau

 
The Best Things Ever Said about Etiqutte and Manners on The Fun at Work Café


Perfect behavior is born of complete indifference.
— Cesare Pavese

Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.
— Dorothy Parker

Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. There are so many trivial ways in which it is possible to commit some social sin.
— Quentin Crisp

 

COPYRIGHT © 2011 by Ernie J. Zelinski

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Author of  The World's Best Retirement Book

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THE WORLD'S BEST RETIREMENT BOOK by Ernie Zelinski

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A BOOK FOR THE RETIRED, UNEMPLOYED, & OVERWORKED

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THE CAREER BOOK FOR PEOPLE TOO SMART TOO WORK IN CORPORATIONS

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Home
Cool Reasons to Quit Your Job
Computer Fun at Work
Excuses for the Workplace
Excuses to Skip Work
Fun Things to Do at Work Today
Fun Things for the Soon-to-Be Retired
Top-10 Reasons Why You Should Not Have a Job
Fun at Work Resources
Goodbye Letters for Work
Graffiti about Work
Having a Bad Work Day?
Health and Well-Being in the Workplace
Never Do These Things
Speechmaking Tips for Making Fun Speeches
Top-10 Eclectic Work Principles
Time Management Tips to Outwit Your Boss
Ways to Annoy Co-workers
Ways to Piss Off Your Boss
Why Hard Work Can Kill You
10 Clues to the Meaning of Life and God
Why Workers Look for Fun Things to Do
Workplace and Office Etiquette
Witty Answers to Stupid Questions
Workplace / Office Problems
Workplace / Office Humor
Bosses Day Poems
Zen at Work
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THE CAREER BOOK FOR PEOPLE TOO SMART TOO WORK IN CORPORATIONS

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Purchase Career Success Without a Real Job online through these links:

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and 

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THE WORLD'S BEST RETIREMENT BOOK by Ernie Zelinski

Fun at Work Book Image #2

OVER 250,000 COPIES SOLD

PUBLISHED IN   9 LANGUAGES

Purchase How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free  online with these direct links:

How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free on Amazon.com

and 

How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free on B&N.com

 

 

A BOOK FOR THE RETIRED, UNEMPLOYED, & OVERWORKED

Fun at Work Book Image #1

OVER 275,000 COPIES SOLD

PUBLISHED IN 17 LANGUAGES

Purchase The Joy of Not Working on Amazon.com with this direct link:

The Joy of Not Working on Amazon.com

 

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