Five of The Top-25
1. Every solution breeds new problems.
2. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to
3. If you have the time for a work project, you won't
have the money. If you have the money for a work project,
you won't have the time.
4. Nothing is as inevitable as a screwup whose time has
5. Things go right in the workplace sometimes so that
they can go terribly wrong.
Five of The Top-25
There is no office job so simple that it cannot be
7. It is easier
to get into trouble than to get out of trouble.
8. No matter how
well you perform a task, a superior will find something
wrong and modify the results.
9. When you try
to prove to someone that something won't work, it
10. Not being
able to read the international bestseller
The Joy of Not
Working by Ernie
Zelinski (over 225,000 copies sold and
published in 17 languages) at work without your boss or
co-worker being irritated and not knowing that you
are actually creating a great work/life balance with the
principles from this book.
Third Five of The
11. Just when you realize that you are starting to have
a good time, you realize that you are doing your job
12. It's amazing how long it takes to complete a project
that you are not working on.
13. THE REAL 80-20 PRINCIPLE: The first 80 percent
of the workplace project takes 80 percent of the time and
the last 20 percent of the workplace project
takes another 80 percent of the time.
14. Just when you think that you understand the
workplace or office situation, the situation changes
15. You can do any amount of work in
the office provided it’s not work that anyone in the
workplace wants you to do.
Fourth Five of The
16. When you think that you have exhausted
all possibilities for things that you can hate about your
job, office, and workplace - you haven't.
17. The best way to inspire fresh thoughts
at a idea- generating meeting is to close the meeting.
18. There are always many solutions to any
workplace problem - all of them sensible, plausible, and
19. Insurmountable workplace problems are
often cleverly disguised as great opportunities - the
reverse is also true.
20. The problem with getting something
right the first time is that everybody else will think that
it was easy.
Fifth 5 of
The Top-25 Workplace
21. If anything can’t go wrong in the workplace, it
22. Accomplish the impossible and the impossible will
always be expected of you.
23. When you eventually find the perfect job that you
want, it won’t want you.
24. Given a bad start in a new job, you can rest assured
that trouble will increase at an alarming rate.
25. Given a choice between two evils, you will wind up
with both of them.
26. Work Life is like riding an elevator. Sometimes someone
pushes your button; sometimes no one does. Upon entering
you get shafted; then you have your ups and downs. And what
is annoying is encountering all those stupid jerks along
27. No matter how much you do, you will never
28. What you don't do is always more important
than what you do.
29 You can't outtalk a boss who knows what he
is talking about.
30 If a way to mess up a workplace project is
pointed out to a committee,it will be accepted as the
best solution to the problem.
31. If any employee works to his or her
potential, he or she will have a nervous breakdown.
32. It takes less work to hire a person than
to fire him or here.
33. The most useless computer tasks are the
most fun to do.
34. If it makes absolutely no sense to you,
the organization will choose it as the best
35. Ideas generated by workplace teams are
accepted and endure in inverse proportion to their
validity and usefulness.
36. In many workplaces improvement means
that things are getting worse at a slower rate than they
37. Corporate integrity and innovation will be
inversely proportional to how much the corporation brags
about it in their advertisements.
It's easy to see the bright side of other people's
No workplace problem is so large that it can't be
fit into someone else's realm.
You can't recover from a workplace problem that you
A good scapegoat can be more fun and as effective
as a good solution.
Experience is what allows you to make new office
mistakes and create new office problems instead of
Nothing is ever as simple as it first seems.
It's always easy to see both sides of an issue in
which we have no interest.
Office problems always take longer to solve than
you first anticipate - even if you take this into
- The best way to solve a workplace problem is to find
someone to solve it for you. Then take the credit.
The less you do, the fewer workplace problems you
There is no such thing as user-friendly.
The chance of a computer crash is directly
proportional to the importance of the document you
are working on.
The one file that you don't scan for viruses will
be the one with the whooper of a virus.
Your new hardware won't run your old sofware.
The most promising result from a search engine
search on Google will lead to a dead link.
No matter what you search for, at least one porn
site will match your criteria.
Spelling and gramatical errors are not noticed
until after the "Send" button in Outlook Express
had been hit.
Natural stupidity can override any artificial
All computers wait at approximately the same speed.
The better the customer service, the faster you get
to talk to someone who doesn't know what he is
How to Handle Mistakes in a Fun Way
make a mistake that causes a workplace problem, consider these
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