Work and the Workplace
As an author and occasional professional speaker specializing in helping people be happy
away from the traditional workplace, I have had an interest in good quotations about work and the
It naturally follows that interesting anonymous comments about the workplace in the form of
graffiti also get my attention.
Some time ago I did a book called Humpty Dumpty Was Pushed: Graffiti for the Soul.
I now provide the content from that book as seven free e-books (in PDF format).
These seven free ebooks
(in PDF format and graffito fonts) have it all:
Wisdom. Ridicule. Sarcasm. Nonsense. Comedy. Mockery. Social commentary. Valuable insight. They are the
ultimate compendium of creative college humor
You can download the seven volumes of graffiti from the Graffiti for the Soul
Series at the bottom of the page:
The following twelve items come from the e-books:
Workplace Graffiti to Remind You of the Typical
- Working here is a nightmare. You want to wake up and leave but you need the sleep.
- I owe. I owe. And off to work I go.
- The thought of suicide has helped me get through many days at work.
- Teamwork magically inspires our group to come up with solutions that are consistently and considerably
dumber than any one of us.
- My job is a big secret. Even I don't know what I am doing.
- As long as we continue to work here, happiness is just an idea.
- Can I trade this job for what's behind door Number 2?
- I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
- Like to meet new people? Like a change? Like excitement? Like a new job? Then screw up just one more
- Around here, "progress" is everything getting worse at a slower rate than it used to.
- I just took a self-improvement course and discovered I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise
myself - unless I want to keep my job.
- My work cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. I want my freedom and I want it now.
If you have just been fired from your job and are considering another job like it, the above
comments may motivate you to consider something different that will lead to real career fulfillment.
We start early in the morning
And work until we have to go to bed.
If this is all there is to living,
We would all rather be dead.
Whenever you catch yourself yearning for the benefits that your old job provided, it's best to
look at the other side of the coin. It's like reminiscing about an old love affair. We tend to remember the good
things much more so than the bad ones.
So when you feel a little dejected because you miss the routine of your old job, consider all
the things that you didn't like about the job.
Graffiti for the
You can download the seven volumes of graffiti as Free E-books in PDF
Format from the Graffiti for the Soul Series at
the following links:
Volume 1: Graffiti for the Enlightened Soul
Volume 2: Graffiti for the Employees' Soul
Volume 3: Graffiti for the College Student's Soul
Volume 4: Graffiti for the Woman's Soul
Volume 5: Graffiti for the Man's Soul
Volume 6: Graffiti for the Adventurous Soul
Volume 7: Graffiti
for the Connoisseur's Soul
Since I spun off Humpty Dumpty Was Pushed: Graffiti for the
Soul into the Graffiti for the Soul Series I have compiled a few
more items of graffiti that would compliment the original collection. Here they are:
Of course I don't look busy. I did it right the first time!
Heaven doesn't want me, and hell is afraid I'll take over
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
HE WHO LAUGHS LAST THINKS SLOWEST
First Things First, but Not Necessarily in That Order
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all of Its students.
My wife says if I go fishing one more time, she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her.
PURITANISM: THE HAUNTING FEAR THAT SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE MAY BE HAPPY
A fool and his money are my best friends.
Elect Jack Kevorkian for White House physician
Sex on television only hurts you when you fall off.
I'm Going to Graduate on Time, No Matter How Long It Takes.
Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.
Don't lie, cheat, or steal. The government hates competition.
Jesus Is Coming. Look Busy!
Support your local undertaker. DROP DEAD NOW!
There's one in every crowd and they always find me.
God, Please Protect Me From Your Followers.
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac
IF YOU'RE RICH, I'M SINGLE......
Archaeologists will date any old thing
WE HAVE ENOUGH YOUTH; WHAT WE NEED IS A FOUNTAIN OF SMART
Smile, it makes people wonder what you've been up to!
I've run out of sick days, so now I call in dead.
Nonconformists are all alike.
Don't bother me with washroom advertisements. I'm already living happily ever after.
My Mother-in-Law Is a Travel Agent for Guilt Trips
Coffee, Chocolate, Men; Some Things Are Just Better Rich
Don't Treat Me Any Differently Than You Would the Queen
DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MIND. THERE IS A FAULT IN REALITY.
Reality is a temporary illusion brought about by the absence of beer.
The Three Rules for Ultimate Success: 1. Don't let your competitors know more than you have to. 2.
I feel really miserable since my girlfriend left me, in fact, it's like having her here.
Enjoy every day as if it was your last and one day you will be right about it.
Students who don't learn from the past are condemned to repeat history class.
The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
COPYRIGHT © 2017 by Ernie J.
Author of The World's Best
All Rights Reserved